Review of holidaying in Monte Carlo.
Monte Carlo is the place for you if you have ever fantasized about hanging out with people who make "extraordinary wealth" seem like an understatement. Tucked on the sun-kissed French Riviera, this small stretch of Monaco boasts more glitz per square metre than most cities could ever dream of. Visiting feels a bit like wandering onto the set of a movie you can't quite afford to star in, but half the pleasure is that.
The casinos come first. Legendary, the Casino de Monte-Carlo is as extravagantly luxurious as Instagram might have you believe. Gold leaf, marble floors, chandeliers large enough to hurt your neck – it's all here. Personally, I came in expecting to try my luck at roulette and leave with enough money to cover the high cost of the hotel. Time to face reality: I left with less money than I started with, but more respect for professional gamblers and a deep knowledge of how the house actually always wins.
Walking in Monte Carlo alone is a journey in itself. If you like little existential crises while window shopping, it's fun to browse purses worth more than your car in upscale boutiques along the streets. The yachts in the harbour are also quite beautiful. These drifting homes cause my personal rental kayak to seem like a plastic bathtub. Still, there's a weird kind of appeal in simply seeing it all: people with their iced coffees, perfectly tanned and dressed as though they're constantly on a Cannes red carpet, while I'm sweating in my somewhat wet tourist shirt.
Monte Carlo cuisine combines great artistry with sometimes sticker shock. Eating at one of the exquisite eateries may be a revelation, like lobster that tastes like it came directly from Poseidon himself, but it is also a time of contemplation when the bill arrives. A three-course supper can quickly cost you as much as a week's worth of food at home. On the plus side, people-watching is free and that's where the real fun is. It's somewhat reassuring to see someone fight to fit into a sports car valued six figures.
Monte Carlo has the Oceanographic Museum and the Prince's Palace, which give you a glimpse into the history and quirks of the principality if you enjoy culture. But let's be honest: most of us are actually here to look beautiful, even if only from a distance. Sipping a drink on a terrace with a view of the Mediterranean and acting like you fit in is somehow really pleasing.
Monte Carlo isn't only a playground for the wealthy; it's also a mirror that shows the absurdity and appeal of money. Although it's also unforgettable, visiting may be humiliating, amusing, and sometimes wallet-draining. And if nothing else, you leave with tales about the time you tried to fit in among billionaires and realized that patience, charm, and style are much more valuable than cash.
