Holiday guide and review of Montenegro.

The name itself makes it sound like a place you'd find in a travel brochure, and you quickly conclude you must leave your work and live there. And really, once you get there, it's difficult to dispute. This small Balkan jewel somehow packs more natural beauty within its borders than most nations three times its size, tucked away on the Adriatic coast. Mountains that resemble those painted by an overzealous artist, turquoise waters that challenge every beach you have ever visited, and historic towns so lovely you half-expect a medieval prince to wave at you from a balcony.

First of all, let's go to Kotor, since if you don't visit Kotor, you might as well not have bothered with Montenegro at all. With dramatic music playing in the background, you'll be wondering how anyone ever gets lost in the old town's maze of small lanes, lovely squares, and cathedrals. And then there is the castle. Yes, the stronghold, Montenegrin entertainment, is supposedly climbing 1,350 steps while questioning all of your life decisions. Still, the summit's perspective justifies it. Ten minutes spent trying to photograph the Bay of Kotor, which resembles some Instagram-perfect picture, will probably reveal that no filter can compare with reality.

Budva is Kotor's hip cousin who went to a music festival on Ibiza and never returned. Budva offers beaches, nightlife, and historic city charm all bundled into one, so you could spend the day soaking up the sun and the evening acting like you are in some glitzy Mediterranean film. If partying isn't your thing, the coast itself is fantastic. Though it may seem like a drawback until you understand your sunburn will not adhere to pebbles, Montenegro's Adriatic beaches are pebbly instead of sandy.

Head inland to Durmitor National Park if mountains suit you better than beaches do. Here, the landscape changes from "wow" to "okay, I have to sit down before I have an existential crisis." Montenegro has mainly developed outdoor adventure tourism to keep Instagram influencers active through hiking, rafting, winter skiing, and lakes that reflect the sky so precisely that you'll doubt whether the reflections are real or Photoshop.

Also, the cuisine. Oh, the cuisine. Consider Balkan comfort food mixed with fresh seafood for good measure. Eating cevapi, freshly grilled fish, and burek will not make you feel like you are guilty of some gastronomic sin. Drink some rakija, the local fruit brandy, to wash it down. Then, your clumsy attempts at Montenegrin words seem cute rather than terrible.

To sum up, Montenegro is tiny, but it will not accept anything less. It's beautiful, historic, sometimes tiring, sometimes funny, and impossible to hate. You'll come for the views, stay for the food, then leave wondering why your past trips were ever regarded as good enough. If nothing else, you will have tales of scaling mountains, avoiding pebbles on beaches, and meandering medieval lanes like a perplexed tourist that you will relate to everyone as if it were some life-changing journey.

Many people may not be familiar with Montenegro yet, but perhaps that is the goal. Being among the few who can say, with a dash of smugness, "Yes, I went to Montenegro" has a wonder about it.